What is IFS?

Internal Family Systems is an evidence based approach that works from the idea that everyone is made up of a variety of "parts" within themselves. Our inner world is often complex and develops these different parts in our response to life’s unavoidable ups and downs. All of our inner parts contain valuable qualities and attributes and are doing there best to support our inner system and how it responds to the outer world. But sometime these parts take on roles they don’t want to and become extreme in they way the manage our inner and outer world.

The IFS model believes that our inner Self knows how to help us move towards healing. Through being supported to meet each part of ourselves with deep acceptance, compassion, curiosity, and courage we can begin a journey of power transformation. Our parts can be liberated from their extreme roles, our system can restore its trust in being self lead, and we can experience more balance, harmony and wholeness. We can be guided by our Self and be with all that we are with radical acceptance and understanding. With this embodied healing and self leadership, not can we become more whole but we can help the world become and more compassion and healed place to live as well.

Assumptions of the IFS Model

• The mind contains an indeterminate number of parts ( archetypes/personalities)

• Everyone has a Self with positive qualities that are accessible despite life’s challenges.

• Parts of us are forced into roles that they don’t always like inorder to adapt to stress, trauma and attachment injuries

• The balance energies in each part have a gift and sometime positive to offer each person and their internal system

• As we grow, develop and encounter life’s difficulties, our inner world and its parts being to develop a relationship much like members of a family with exiles, polarisation, alliances and hierarchies.

• Changes in our inner system affect our external system and vis versa.

What is the Self?

In the IFS model, the Self is an energy inside of us all that responses specific qualities often referred to as the 8 C’s and the 4 A’s and 3 P’s. These are confidence, calmness, creativity, clarity, curiosity, courage, compassion, connectedness, attunement, acceptance, acknowledgement, appreciation, patience, persistence and play . For some people the Self is related to spiritual state of being and it has been compared in mystic traditions to what may be describe as the Soul, Higher Self and even God. IFS offers the opportunity to experience the state of Self in relation to our inner parts and outer relationships. An IFS practitioner guides their client towards this Self to part relationship so that they can become Self lead resulting in a more harmonious inner and outer experience with life.

What does it mean to be Self Lead?

Being self lead is when an individual has the capacity to hear, understand and be present with their parts, acknowledging and appreciating the importance of their roles in the internal system and in relation to other people.

What kind of parts do we have?

There are three distinct types of parts in the IFS model:

1. Managers are protectors that are responsible for keeping away anything that may upset the system. They mainly focus on prevention. They also run your day to day life helping you to adapt to environments and find what are often socially accepted way of functioning. They can feel so much of part of you that they are mistaken for the Self. Manager like exiles also tend to be children who really want to be nurtured and healed. They are often self sacrificing and hide their vulnerabilities. Some qualities of a manager can as follows: controlling, overachieving, perfectionistic, risk avoiding, people pleasing, over criticising, denying of history, and numbing out.

2. Exiles are most often in a state of pain or trauma, which may result from childhood experiences. Managers and firefighters exile these parts and prevent them from reaching the conscious level so that proper functioning and preservation are maintained.

3. Firefighters focus on protection too, but in a more reactive way once the system has been made vulnerable. When an Exile’s pain is activated they go into action much like a real fire-fighter, trying to smother or dowse the pain through different means. The are determined to protect no matter the cost to the system. Fierfigherts can be impulsive, heroic, reactive and distructic. They can often have out-of-control behaviours and impulses regardless of the consequences. However, it’s important to remember that the system is doing what it is designed for and to say open to understanding how the fire-fighter is trying to help and what it needs.

How do we unburden from the past?

The process of unburdening is where a part lets go of painful emotions and beliefs it has been carrying. This process often involves a creative ritual or ceremonial release of this energy to something or someone. Once this burdened energy is release there is then space to invite in new more supportive and strengthening qualities like joy, love, compassion ect.

What happens in a session?

Sessions begin with an opportunity to tune into your inner world and the different, thoughts feelings and energies present. As this occurs you are taken through a guided process to clarify what parts of you are present and which part or parts are wanting to be explored and supported. All parts are informed that they are welcome and that no one is getting rid of them.

Once a choice is made clients are guided though a process to help them understand the part, its role, job, relationship to the system, feelings and needs ect. There is also support for other parts that may pop up in rejection or judgment of the part getting care. This allows space and room to stay connected to the part getting attention. Gentle inquiry is used to facilitate a self to part relationship for the client and allow them to understand what is needed in order for the part and the system to move towards healing.

With exiles there may be unburdening, with protectors there may be a desire to explore how their energy can be used in more helpful ways and still there may be other parts that want the opportunity to share their gifts.

Near the end of the session gratitude is given to all the parts involved and any last requests or acknowledgements needed are made so that the client can land as comfortably as possible. Instructions may be give for creative integration processes and after care like checking in with parts, journaling, drawing or painting depending on the needs.

Text adapted from :
The Internal Family Systems Manual 2020
By Mariel Pastor, LMFT and Jennifer Gauvain, LCSW